I love the personal and professional parallels. The question "Is this the relationship I want for the next third of my life?" maps directly onto the career version most of us are quietly asking too.
We're not settling for default anymore — in love or in work. The real flex isn't leaving. It's having the clarity to choose, renegotiate, and redesign on your own terms. What a time to be rewriting the rules.
My partner of 18 years and I say it like this … growth is our choice. And consciously we can choose to grow together. In this mutual commitment we have each gone far outside our comfort zones to choose a road we can both walk side by side, and continue the practice. There are real give ups but the big gain, so worth it. Constant discussion :).
Perhaps coming from a different perspective, "Living Apart Together" is a concept I worked through over time while participating in the elder dating world, which comes with its own "built-in" divergent pulls. Emotional intimacy and commitment demand unbending trust when there are extended absences. However, "Living Apart Together" may offer a reasonable, at least initial, compromise as a new relationship blossoms. Very considered and helpful discussion. Grazie mille!
best insight and wisdom ever shared - gave me a lot to think about - i love that our futures in mid life with our partners/ spouses don't necessarily need to be approached with an "all or nothing" mindset - the evolution as a human being concept is just beautiful - I've watched the living apart concept play out beautifully for my brother (age 54) and his wife. I thought it was really weird at first and I was even a-little judge'y tbh - but I've watched their relationship flourish over the past 3 years - still best friends, still showing up for one another with deep compassion and respect, talking everyday, still co parenting their dogs, still watching out for each other and still in love... there were even moments where I secretly thought "maybe they've got this right?"
Beautiful and oh-so-honest reflections, Chip. The mind wants definitions, but our aliveness - sometimes frustratingly so - emerges from somewhere else entirely. I love the call to creativity and the question of whether a desire for co-creation remains.
I love the personal and professional parallels. The question "Is this the relationship I want for the next third of my life?" maps directly onto the career version most of us are quietly asking too.
We're not settling for default anymore — in love or in work. The real flex isn't leaving. It's having the clarity to choose, renegotiate, and redesign on your own terms. What a time to be rewriting the rules.
My partner of 18 years and I say it like this … growth is our choice. And consciously we can choose to grow together. In this mutual commitment we have each gone far outside our comfort zones to choose a road we can both walk side by side, and continue the practice. There are real give ups but the big gain, so worth it. Constant discussion :).
Perhaps coming from a different perspective, "Living Apart Together" is a concept I worked through over time while participating in the elder dating world, which comes with its own "built-in" divergent pulls. Emotional intimacy and commitment demand unbending trust when there are extended absences. However, "Living Apart Together" may offer a reasonable, at least initial, compromise as a new relationship blossoms. Very considered and helpful discussion. Grazie mille!
I did a podcast about this - and while I came out on the other side, I love that you’re bringing these ideas to the conversation, Chip. https://youtu.be/hivKiNrxaA0?si=d2WXcHpXmYpJTJaL
Love this Chip! Resonates with me so deeply.
best insight and wisdom ever shared - gave me a lot to think about - i love that our futures in mid life with our partners/ spouses don't necessarily need to be approached with an "all or nothing" mindset - the evolution as a human being concept is just beautiful - I've watched the living apart concept play out beautifully for my brother (age 54) and his wife. I thought it was really weird at first and I was even a-little judge'y tbh - but I've watched their relationship flourish over the past 3 years - still best friends, still showing up for one another with deep compassion and respect, talking everyday, still co parenting their dogs, still watching out for each other and still in love... there were even moments where I secretly thought "maybe they've got this right?"
Beautiful and oh-so-honest reflections, Chip. The mind wants definitions, but our aliveness - sometimes frustratingly so - emerges from somewhere else entirely. I love the call to creativity and the question of whether a desire for co-creation remains.
Beautifully said.